Kumar Bahukhandi
Bangladesh is in shambles today. The “Saviour” is back. Tarique Rahman ended 17 years of exile and returned to his homeland, promising a “safe, peaceful Bangladesh”. Tall order. But the Bangladeshis in Mumbai aren’t rushing back! — Internet
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The BJP and the Eknath Shinde-led Shiv Sena are already in a celebratory mood, seeing the warring cousins on the backfoot
Santa Claus has the right idea… visit people only once a year”, wrote Victor Borge. Well… maybe Santa decided to skip India this year and flew his sled directly to a less polluted destination. His reindeers wouldn’t have survived our toxic air. And we are talking TOXIC! This goes beyond just air quality. Overall, the “mahaul” across the country is pretty awful. I look at headlines and either flinch or cringe. Daily killings are a part of our diet. We passively consume and condone murders, lynchings, maiming, beatings, like we consume mindless OTT content. No questions asked. Am I wrong or is this the first time an RSS worker attacked innocent kids for singing carols? This happened in Palakkad, Kerala. But I sensed unease on Xmas Eve around Mumbai as well. My locality was a combat zone in any case. The Bangladesh deputy high commission close by was heavily guarded, traffic was diverted and several shops chose to remain shut, fearing violent protests following the lynching of 25-year-old Dipu Das, a Hindu worker accused of blasphemy, in Dhaka.
Irony. SoBo, where we reside, is an area that has welcomed and housed thousands of illegal Bangladeshis for decades. Though it is an open secret, no local neta has dared to voice concerns over their unauthorised presence. The densely populated slums right next to the heavily protected naval area are packed with Bangladeshi families who make their way to Mumbai from Kolkata. They are culturally distinct, speak Bengali with a specific accent, stick to one another, and finally get assimilated. Most possess “legit” Aadhaar cards and other papers, so the question of identifying them as illegal immigrants becomes that much tougher. Not that the authorities are all that bothered.
Even the cops look the other way if pressured to take action when trouble erupts. Over time, feeble attempts were made to send them back. But, sigh exhausted cops, once they reach Kolkata by train, they lie low for a few weeks and then return surreptitiously to reclaim their old jobs in Mumbai.
Bangladesh is in shambles today. The “Saviour” is back. Tarique Rahman ended 17 years of exile and returned to his homeland, promising a “safe, peaceful Bangladesh”. Tall order. But the Bangladeshis in Mumbai aren’t rushing back!
The reason nobody wants to address the problem of Bangladeshis living illegally in Mumbai is simple: Netas need them. They have been sponsored and nurtured as captive vote banks by local MLAs way back when. The story continues. With crucial elections coming up in Mumbai, MMR and Nashik on January 15, 2026, every vote counts. The kitty to be won is monumental. The Brothers Thackeray have “reunited” for what that’s worth, possibly in panic mode to combat what looks like a lost cause already — Sena (UBT) and MNS. contesting as an alliance, was a move waiting to happen, given how political pundits are reading the frost in the air. The BJP and the Eknath Shinde-led Shiv Sena are already in a celebratory mood, seeing the warring cousins on the backfoot. They are like a discounted “combo meal”, hanging on to each other in a desperate bid for survival. Devendra Fadnavis, CM and BJP leader, was scathing and dismissive about the latest move, jauntily declaring: “This is their existential fight. They are resorting to the politics of appeasement. It’s not as if Russia and Ukraine have united.’’ I love it! Fadnavis referencing an “existential fight”.
Wonder who scripted the quote? Is our CM a fan of Jean Paul Sartre? Albert Camus? Perspective and perception are everything. When Fadnavis mocked, “Not like Putin and Zelenskyy are coming together”, right after the cousins and the two vahinis showed up together after nearly 20 years, “Bro Code” fully on, Eknath Shinde promptly jumped in and fanned the fire further, by adding: “The cousins can’t take care of their own children… What can they do to save Mumbai?” Catch phrase: “Save Mumbai”. These are all a bunch of self-appointed “saviours”. Only Mumbaikars can save Mumbai. By snatching Mumbai back from the exploiters who have stripped it systematically, ruthlessly, cold-bloodedly.
There’s a line in Dhurandhar (the current Bollywood blockbuster that’s dropped many political bombs on both sides of the border), in which a character says, “The person who controls Karachi, controls Pakistan.” Similarly, the party that controls Mumbai, controls Maharashtra. And indirectly also wields substantial political/financial clout across India. The tired, old “Marathi Manoos” pitch no longer works. The BJP is focusing on development.
Though the elections are being held for municipal corporations governing 29 cities, it’s really about capturing the BMC (Brihanmumbai Municipal Corporation), one of the richest civic bodies in India. Eat this: the BMC’s staggering budget for 2025-26 is `74,427 crores. Let’s just call it a Vada Pav war! One vendor’s masala is spicier. Which one will the Mumbaikar bite into without worrying about indigestion?
With 2026 right around the corner, everyone’s getting a little antsy.
We have a brand-new airport, which is being dubbed “India’s civil aviation sector’s game-changer…” Which game? What change? The Navi Mumbai International Airport is looking dazzling. It’s a 28-year-old dream, we’re told. All 1,160 hectares of it in Ulwe. It’s the largest greenfield airport in the country. The interesting statistic for me is that it features 75 aircraft stands for private jets and charters.
Rich and famous people these days refuse to fly commercial, a very successful event planner told me recently. She handles big ticket celebs — movie stars, cricketers, performing artistes, singers, dancers, entertainers of all hues. With a laugh, she admitted, even minor celebs demand private jets, airily telling her to just “bill it to the client”. As if clients are that bewakoof. If the chartered flight option is declined, some of these pompous names insist on flying first class with their entire family. The rest of the entourage fly biz class. But nobody is willing to fly economy — not even the spot boy. “If my travel budget for one artist alone hits `12-20 lakhs for a gig, how can I justify the cost to my client?” How, indeed!
And that’s the upside.
She mentioned a top bracket performer who asked for the travel money upfront and in cash. When he landed in Singapore, the organisers were shocked to see him, minus the family, sheepishly emerging from cattle class himself!!
I am happily declaring 2026 as “The Year of the Hustle”. Look around you. What do you see? I see hustlers galore who represent every field and constituency. The political hustle has always existed… it’s just more in your face now. Win… or die, as they say. Let’s join the gang and hustle away. I’m signing up for a masterclass.
Irreverent, provocative, opinionated… Shobhaa De has been challenging status quo for four decades… and is at her best when she punctures inflated egoes.
